Hey. It's been a while. I hope you remember me?
A lot has happened during the last time I uploaded on here. My last upload was in 2015, let's just let that sink in. I created this blog with the intentions of posting mostly on fashion and thrifting, with a little bit of lifestyle. I still hold true to this, however at the time I struggled with a lot of issues that really brought me down.
Since my last post, I felt unmotivated to post anything on here because I felt that it wasn't "interesting enough". That it wasn't worth publishing. I have several posts in my inventory that have yet to be published because of those silly reasons. I was also swamped with work and finishing my degree, which I can proudly say I earned last year in December.
Now that we are in 2017, I'd like to reflect on two things that really helped me get through those rough times.
1. It's ok if you don't know.
Most of the time I stress about not knowing anything. It's not because I'm ignorant or refuse to learn, it's just that I honestly don't know. I'm 22 this year... and I still feel like a headless chicken wondering what I'm supposed to be doing. But that's ok! You shouldn't feel like you should have your shit together just because 'society' says you have to. Take your time, learn to love yourself and embrace whatever comes your way. Embrace all the obstacles you encounter and overcome. Learn from your mistakes and love everyone. I remember going through depression when I was in the last leg of finishing my degree. I had postponed doing my assessments for the longest time and was afraid to finish them because I was petrified of the idea of what was next. Will I be able to get a job? Will I be good enough? Thoughts like that destroyed me. It's human nature, we as people are afraid of the unknown. At the end of the day, I can assure you that there are many people out there that are sharing the same thoughts as you. You are not alone. Just take one day at a time and approach each day with a positive, optimistic and loving mind.
2. Talk to people.
For me, talking about personal and intimate things were never an issue. However, during my time of depression, I didn't want to talk to anyone. I would put up a front and say that everything was going well and smile. It was painful to do daily, to hide from the people you love that genuinely care about you. The internal struggles that I went through were destructive which in turn, affected my mood and how I treated others. It was horrible. Until one day when I was talking with my mum, I broke. I let everything pour out my body. It felt therapeutic and cleansing. I remember telling her everything, from how I was feeling to my fears of disappointing them. I just kept going on and on. She just sat there, listening to my every word. Once I was done she took me in her arms and embraced me. A simple gesture that I had no idea I needed, until that moment.
I know that it's hard to talk about your failures, especially to those who all you want to do is make them proud. But you can't shoulder all that on your own. Be vulnerable and allow people to care for you. I owe my partner for rekindling my faith in God. His faith is so strong and beautiful, which really inspired me and will continue to. I found myself speaking with God more and really deepening my relationship with him. Through him, all things are possible.
To whoever is reading this, I hope this helps you. Just know that you are not alone, take things one day at a time and be kind to everyone. My goal is to post on here more regularly and be proud of my content. So be on the lookout for more content coming your way!
In your times of adversity, I hope this finds you well.
"Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
- Proverbs 3:4-6
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